And after many glasses of work

I never say that I have an addictive personality. That implies that my personality is so wonderful that people can't get enough of it. And while that is, of course, true, it's not something I need to go around announcing. I don't know the adjective for what I want to say.

This is my way of saying that I bought a pair of shoes. Well, I kind of needed the shoes (they're low-heeled and black and replacing a very old, no longer supportive pair).

It's actually my way of saying that I have a holiday this week and am not sure what to do with myself. I don't have to work again until May 7th. I don't even have to think about work again until May 6th. Given that I've been working 150% of my contract teaching hours, not to mention the other stuff that I do, it's been a long time since I've had this much free time.

And how is it that I was even working that hard in the first place? I left America partly because of the workaholic culture. I felt like I'd have to spend most of my life working just to survive. Russians have (many, many) more holidays and work fewer hours per week than most Americans.

Of all the people I know back home, I assumed I was the least likely to get sucked into this stupid workaholic culture, due to my inherent laziness. But here I am, wondering if the place (which isn't even open for classes) is going to fall apart without me, or if my students are going to forget their English. I know that some of this is my own personality, but I think American culture is at least partly to blame. Why is it that Russians don't seem to have any trouble taking long holidays in the middle of the year?

Though I guess they just have different socially acceptable addictions. Work is better for my liver. Probably.


In other news, this happened back home: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/30/highway.collapse.ap/index.html
Amazingly, nobody was killed, and even the driver was able to walk away with minor injuries, which means you're allowed to gawk at the pictures.

Here's a question for some mega nerd out there: how long does this section of freeway have to be out, thereby forcing some portion of commuters onto public transport, to create a net drop in air pollution? You have to account for:
1. the giant fireball which started the whole thing
2. the extra public transport being made available
3. the fact that some of the commuters will probably be driving longer distances instead
4. the air pollution created by the repair machines

Still in Russia

Yeltsin died on Monday, and today is a national day of mourning, which as far as I can tell just means there's a funeral (actually, wikipedia says he's being buried as I type this). Because I don't understand Russian well enough, I can't tell if the media coverage here is as obnoxious as it is in America when a former president dies. It would be more justified, since he was the first democratically elected president and all, but I do like the fact that he's being buried in a timely manner rather than touring the country. I also appreciate that the Yeltsin critics I know seem to have backed off for now.

There's a lot of nostalgia for the Soviet Union here, particularly among old people and people who are about my age. Old people have lower pensions and less social support under the current economic situation, and I think the people my age just feel nostalgic. They would have been children during Soviet times, and my impression is that they were more sheltered (i.e., less worried about nuclear war) than American children. It is also true that a lot of Russians suffered greatly during the mid-1990's (one student claimed that half the people he finished university with were murdered). People also percieve terrorism to be a bigger problem now than it was before the collapse.* Anyway, the end result is that a lot of Russian people don't have anything nice to say about Yeltsin or Gorbachev.

In happier news, I started teaching at a software company this week. I have to say, as far as business English goes, nerds are probably my favorite demographic to teach. They ask good questions and don't try to pick you up. They tend to be a bit full of themselves, which bothers some teachers, but I just find it funny. One student says "yes, that's correct" every time I tell him how to say something correctly. "Oh, good," I say, "I was worried."

Another student is apparently obsessed with quantum mechanics. I'm not sure what this entails, but I keep using blue and violet whiteboard markers in the hopes that he'll freak out about his electrons' being dislodged.


At another company, one of my students has decided that his next wife is going to be hard-working, a bit of a workaholic, will like to travel, be a bit adventurous and impulsive, younger than him and "probably not Russian." I'm not sure where he thinks he's going to meet this woman.


* - I have no idea if it really is. It doesn't make logical sense to me that it would be, or that it's linked in any way to the collapse of the USSR, but it has a certain truthiness.

Siberia!

So, the plane tickets are purchased and now I can say that I'm going to Siberia!

Coworker: People used to say that in the 1950's, too, but I think it was in a different tone.

I wrote a possible itinerary and now have to go about getting all my ducks in a row so I can write the final itinerary. But, basically, I'm going to New York for my brother's graduation, on to California for a couple weeks at home, then to Beijing for a few days (trying to figure out just how many is the hard part), then I'm taking the trans-Mongolian railway back to Moscow. So, from Beijing, I want to go to another city in China because otherwise it's a long train ride. In any case, it goes: Beijing - ? - Ulan Baatar (the capital of Mongolia) - Ulan Ude (first stop in Russia) - Lake Baikal and Irkutsk, where I'll spend a few days - Zima (which not only breaks up the train journey, but was also described as "a weird little town" on one website and has a poem written about it) - Krasnoyarsk - Novosibirsk - Omsk - Tobolsk - Yekaterinburg, where I'll spend another few days - Perm - Nizhny Novgorod - Moscow. Of course, this is idealistic, as train timetables, money, and the fact that I might get fed up and quit will all disrupt the itinerary. But this is the dream.

And it has led to the biggest packing challenge of my life (which is why I've started thinking about it two months in advance). I need to bring a camera, documents, money, and some other stuff. The other stuff has to be suitable for a graduation ceremony in New York (my current wardrobe, I feel, is inadequately preppy), walking around New York City (inadequately fashionable), walking around Beijing (I don't really think I can blend in here, but I don't want to stand out more than I have to), walking around small, nature-infested Siberian towns and Lake Baikal (inadequately rugged), walking around bigger Russian cities (I at least have this one covered), and spending a lot of time on trains. It will also have to not need ironing, be hand-washable, and fit into no more than two small bags and a backpack.

Anyway, I went shopping this weekend for something graduation-y (I decided to start from the beginning of the journey), but all I found were tent-shaped minidresses, dresses with a waistband that is supposed to fall somewhere around your hips (this wasn't due to my height (I have more sense than to try such a dress on), it's the way the dresses are actually supposed to fit), a lot of loud prints, and some passable clothes that were out of my price range. There was also a nice red skirt that I could afford and that looked like it would probably fit, but by the time I came across it I was feeling far too pear-shaped for a brightly colored skirt. It would have been inadequately preppy, anyway.

Anyway, looking around at all the cute clothes made me think of how much money I've probably saved by being rather difficult to shop for. If I were six feet tall and rail-thin, there's no way I'd have enough money to go to Siberia because I'd have spent all my money on clothes because everything I tried on would look good. At least, that's what I imagine such a life would be like.

I also discovered that, no matter how many shoes I have, I can't not walk into a shoe store. Just to look, of course. I'm like a recovering alcoholic who still goes to bars, or a newlywed who still reads Craigslist. In other words, it might not end well.

High-strung

Happy Easter! I hope that yours was better than mine. Food poisoning or stomach flu thwarted my weekend plans (which involved going to church and buying plane tickets), so now I am freaking out about my summer plans (or, rather, lack thereof). If summer doesn't work out, I'll probably do something expensive in May (new mobile phone, train around the Baltic states), but I'd need to get to work on that post haste.

Conversation today:
another teacher: You seem high-strung today.
me: ...today? Have you met me before?


Now I'm going to write about books. If you haven't read Anna Karenina, you shouldn't read any further because I'm going to spoil the ending.

In my sick time, I read The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende, which I did not like at all, and Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys, which I loved. It was all about semi-political female-written first-person-narrated unsuccessful-marriage-including books about members of formerly powerful families in Central and South America this week.

I read The House of the Spirits because I had read something else by Allende and didn't like it. When I read something I don't like by a famous author, I usually try to read another book, just to make sure. Sometimes, this has worked out really well. The best example of this is Haruki Murakami: I didn't like Norweigan Wood, but I've loved everything of his that I've read since that. Not so with Allende. It was the idea of the story in general and the foreshadowing in particular that I couldn't deal with. If Allende had written Anna Karenina, it would have gone something like this: "Anna looked at the train, unaware that one day she would throw herself in front of one." And she would have somehow deserved it because of something her grandfather did years ago, unaware that his granddaughter would one day throw herself in front of a train.

I don't know what I'll read next. For the first time since coming to Russia, I actually have a lot to choose from. So life, in that one respect, is good. Life is also good in the respect that I have a lot of shoes. And that about sums it up.

Wreck a nice beach

I always admit it when I make mistakes in class, and I tell the teachers to do the same, because if you insist that you're right, your students might go home and look it up, and then you'll come out looking like an insecure jerk. If they don't look it up, they'll end up copying your mistake, causing their next teacher to have to clean up your mess. Just admit that you're wrong and move on with your lesson.

Anyway, I made a mistake in class the other day and my student's response to this mistake was "you're not a robot!"*

My very first thought? "Like robots never make mistakes with language. Gosh!"

And I wonder why one of the teachers keeps quoting Napoleon Dynamite to me.


I walked into class the other day and one of my students said "you are very beautiful." It took me a moment to realize that that's pre-intermediate-level speak for "you look nice today" because they haven't learned that construction yet. They'll learn it in chapter 6, but now I kind of don't want to teach it.


* - not, by the way, in a sympathetic tone like "don't worry, everybody makes mistakes," which I would have found a bit condescending, but in more of a surprised tone like "well, I guess I owe somebody a Coke," which I found kind of flattering.

The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems

I am a nerdy, obnoxious drunk. I spent my Saturday evening insisting to this guy named Luke that he was *totally* named after the Star Wars character, and his parents' first date *totally* must have been one of the Star Wars movies, and that is *totally* cute. Becuase, you know, that name didn't exist before Star Wars.

I spent my Sunday vowing never to drink or leave the house ever again.


1. If you could suddenly speak one language fluently (that you don't currently speak) what would it be?
Russian, because it would make my life easier. Or maybe Old Church Slavic, because it's more unusual, and would make learning Russian easier anyway.

2. If you were to suggest a foreign film, that you really enjoyed, what one would you suggest?
Amelie, Rashomon, The Seven Samurai, The Idiot, Ran, Ivan the Terrible, Yi Yi, some others.

3. If you had to call another country home (other than the one you currently live in) what one would you choose?
Hmm...I suppose America would be the obvious answer. But, actually, Sweden. Good health care, good social programs, and it looks like a model railroad set.

4. If you went out to buy an import music CD, what one would you buy?
I have no idea what counts as import. I get everything from iTunes or the Zelenograd network now.

5. If you were to chose an ethnic dinner, what would it be?
Decent, affordable Chinese food, or maybe sushi that actually came from the ocean to my plate without being frozen in between. Or heirloom tomatoes (does upper middle class count as an ethnicity?)

Really I'm just jealous because I wish the world revolved around me

I was sick yesterday, so I called in sick, which means I don't get paid. I also made a mistake on some documents on Monday that had to be done, er, on Monday. So I had to go to work yesterday anyway. Paperwork takes less energy than teaching, but considerably more energy than sleeping the day away and drinking orange juice.

Also annoying is the fact that Spring is here and the sun is out, which will, of course, add years and years and freckles to my appearance and give me cataracts when I'm old. To make matters worse, everybody else is all "Woohoo! Photons!" because they love premature aging, I suppose.

I've just started to remind myself of Mr. Burns. That can't be good.

The good news is, Moscow is actually protected by a cloud of pollution, so it's not as bad as, say, California, what with its semi-clean air and fresh food. And it's the first week of the year that the streets aren't totally destructive to normal, non-waterproof shoes.

But the point of this post was to mention that I'm still alive, and to wonder out loud what I should do this summer. Basically, I have to go to New York (and Boston, because I've been meaning to visit for about 4 years now). But what then? Do I fly back to Moscow? Do I go to California for a while and then fly back to Moscow?

Or do I attempt the superholiday? The superholiday will take me from Moscow to New York to San Francisco to Beijing and then across Siberia by train, back to Moscow. I would have to plan this all in 2.5 months. And, actually, since I'm going to New York no matter what, I have to buy that ticket as soon as possible. So the question I have to answer now is whether I buy round trip or one-way. Buying round trip means that I have forfeited the superholiday. Buying one way means that I could still forfeit the superholiday, but it would be a monumental waste of money to do so (of course, some would say that the superholiday itself is a monumental waste of money, but let's assume for the sake of argument that it's not).

I have 550 nerd points

One of the teachers has started awarding nerd points to people based on his own bizarre criteria (I lost nerd points for liking "Napoleon Dynamite" and gained them back for quoting the film). So he spends a lot of time walking around the school giving and taking away points. If you thought of Professor McGonagall just now, you get 50 points.

Tomorrow I have to run a workshop for business English teachers. This is actually my first time running a workshop, and I am not looking forward to it. Actually, I'm freaking out about it. Partly because not all of our teachers are the nicest people all of the time, so I'll get made fun of a lot and partly because I'm only used to teaching English, not teaching teaching, which I imagine to be completely different (I guess I'll find out). But mostly because I go through life with a really unhealthy level of anxiety.

Here is an on-time Friday Five, which is about otters:

1. How do you feel about teeter-totters?
Actually, I've never been on one because I didn't have any friends when I was a kid. Thanks a lot for reminding me.

2. What is something you otter get done this weekend?
Part 1 (of 3) of the workshop.

3. Who’s someone who seemed normal when you first met but got odder and odder as you got to know him or her?
Pretty much everyone I know, the exceptions being people who never seemed normal. Getting to know people involves finding out about their quirks. Everybody has quirks, so everybody gets odder as you get to know them.

4. Thinking of your mother: What’s something that always awed her?
Probably my trivia-brain.

5. What is your favorite small, furry, non-domesticated animal?
I love orangutans, but they're not really small. I kind of like bats in theory, but I wouldn't want to run into them.

This is a very shallow post

Is anybody else finding this Britney Spears coverage stupid? As in, it's perfectly ok for your average American woman to be marketed as a sex symbol at age 17, cry on TV, get married for 55 hours in Vegas, steal a boyfriend from a pregnant woman, buy a husband, divorce said husband and let him know by text message, neglect her children, start drinking like crazy, sleep around, run around town without underwear, check into and out of rehab, but God forbid she shave her head! THAT must be a cry for help!

Okay, so I've been a bit busy, but here are the shoes:


Another view:



Insane but cute!

But here's a question that's been plaguing me since I bought them (it won't be warm enough to wear them for a while yet): what, exactly, am I going to wear them with? If I were tall and thin, it would be a turquoise shirtdress with brown belt. Or white belt if I also had a white bag. Or, if I were tall and thin and didn't need to go anywhere and could be guaranteed an exact match, a white shirtdress with turquoise leather belt. None of these conditions apply, though, so I'm stuck. When you're not tall and thin, and your shoes have skulls on them, the rest of your outfit should pretty much scream understatement. Possibly a brown A-line skirt with white shirt and some kind of turquoise accessory.

Clearly, I've put too much thought into this. Black still matches with everything, right?

On another note, Friday Five. They're in honor of the Police reunion, which explains why they're weird:

1. Who’s got you wrapped around his or her finger?
Nobody. Unless you count my addiction to shoes (please don't).

2. What’s as easy to learn as your ABCs?
The IPA (well, the parts that apply to English, in any case).

3. Whose destiny is to be the king (or queen) of pain?
Nobody, I hope.

4. Who would you like not to stand so close to you?
One of my students, of course!

5. Which animals’ stings have you experienced?
I got stung by a bee once.

Late Friday Five

I spent the weekend working. Well, technically, I spent Sunday working. I spent Saturday shopping for a new bag, which felt like work.

My old bag was exactly the style and size I wanted, if poorly made. It fell apart after six months. Okay, I thought, I'll just go to a higher quality shop and pay more for a similar, but longer-lasting, bag. But it was not to be.

First of all, there are two basic sizes of purse: too small to be of any use whatsoever and big enough to hide a corpse, should you need to do so. The first category is clearly unsuitable. The second category is unsuitable because 1. all these bags have open tops for some reason. Just what you need in a land of snow and pickpockets, 2. they're taller than they are wide, which creates strata for things to get lost in, and 3. I'd look stupid carrying around a bag that's bigger than me.

So, purses are out. Briefcases are also out because they tended to either be designed for notebooks, and therefore bigger than what I was looking for, or exactly the right size and shape but without shoulder straps. Who makes a bag without a shoulder strap?!?

I ruled out messenger bags because I wanted a bag with an actual structure to it, and also because I feel I am too old for them. But after hours and hours of searching and lowering my standards I found a 200-rouble (about $8) green messenger bag. It's a temporary solution, as it's going to fall apart any day now, but it will do for now. What I like most about it is that it looks like an inventory bag. So I can use it on my many quests.

I also bought two pairs of shoes, including one Dia de los Muertos pair.

It's time for the Fri...er...Monday Five!
1. For these first seven weeks of 2007, what’s something you give yourself an A for?
Buying shoes. Seriously, that's all I've got. But they're good shoes.

2. What’s something you give yourself a B for?
Teaching. I have yet to walk out of a lesson thinking "ugh, that was awful," and I've only really been late twice (and it was only my fault once).

3. What’s something you give yourself a C for?
Doing the rest of my job. It's a busy time of year, so while I'm doing my job, I'm not very organized or efficient about it.

4. What’s something you give yourself a D for?
Eating right. I need to cook more and eat less chocolate.

5. What’s something you give yourself an F for?
Drinking.