This is a very shallow post

Is anybody else finding this Britney Spears coverage stupid? As in, it's perfectly ok for your average American woman to be marketed as a sex symbol at age 17, cry on TV, get married for 55 hours in Vegas, steal a boyfriend from a pregnant woman, buy a husband, divorce said husband and let him know by text message, neglect her children, start drinking like crazy, sleep around, run around town without underwear, check into and out of rehab, but God forbid she shave her head! THAT must be a cry for help!

Okay, so I've been a bit busy, but here are the shoes:


Another view:



Insane but cute!

But here's a question that's been plaguing me since I bought them (it won't be warm enough to wear them for a while yet): what, exactly, am I going to wear them with? If I were tall and thin, it would be a turquoise shirtdress with brown belt. Or white belt if I also had a white bag. Or, if I were tall and thin and didn't need to go anywhere and could be guaranteed an exact match, a white shirtdress with turquoise leather belt. None of these conditions apply, though, so I'm stuck. When you're not tall and thin, and your shoes have skulls on them, the rest of your outfit should pretty much scream understatement. Possibly a brown A-line skirt with white shirt and some kind of turquoise accessory.

Clearly, I've put too much thought into this. Black still matches with everything, right?

On another note, Friday Five. They're in honor of the Police reunion, which explains why they're weird:

1. Who’s got you wrapped around his or her finger?
Nobody. Unless you count my addiction to shoes (please don't).

2. What’s as easy to learn as your ABCs?
The IPA (well, the parts that apply to English, in any case).

3. Whose destiny is to be the king (or queen) of pain?
Nobody, I hope.

4. Who would you like not to stand so close to you?
One of my students, of course!

5. Which animals’ stings have you experienced?
I got stung by a bee once.

Late Friday Five

I spent the weekend working. Well, technically, I spent Sunday working. I spent Saturday shopping for a new bag, which felt like work.

My old bag was exactly the style and size I wanted, if poorly made. It fell apart after six months. Okay, I thought, I'll just go to a higher quality shop and pay more for a similar, but longer-lasting, bag. But it was not to be.

First of all, there are two basic sizes of purse: too small to be of any use whatsoever and big enough to hide a corpse, should you need to do so. The first category is clearly unsuitable. The second category is unsuitable because 1. all these bags have open tops for some reason. Just what you need in a land of snow and pickpockets, 2. they're taller than they are wide, which creates strata for things to get lost in, and 3. I'd look stupid carrying around a bag that's bigger than me.

So, purses are out. Briefcases are also out because they tended to either be designed for notebooks, and therefore bigger than what I was looking for, or exactly the right size and shape but without shoulder straps. Who makes a bag without a shoulder strap?!?

I ruled out messenger bags because I wanted a bag with an actual structure to it, and also because I feel I am too old for them. But after hours and hours of searching and lowering my standards I found a 200-rouble (about $8) green messenger bag. It's a temporary solution, as it's going to fall apart any day now, but it will do for now. What I like most about it is that it looks like an inventory bag. So I can use it on my many quests.

I also bought two pairs of shoes, including one Dia de los Muertos pair.

It's time for the Fri...er...Monday Five!
1. For these first seven weeks of 2007, what’s something you give yourself an A for?
Buying shoes. Seriously, that's all I've got. But they're good shoes.

2. What’s something you give yourself a B for?
Teaching. I have yet to walk out of a lesson thinking "ugh, that was awful," and I've only really been late twice (and it was only my fault once).

3. What’s something you give yourself a C for?
Doing the rest of my job. It's a busy time of year, so while I'm doing my job, I'm not very organized or efficient about it.

4. What’s something you give yourself a D for?
Eating right. I need to cook more and eat less chocolate.

5. What’s something you give yourself an F for?
Drinking.

Let's bee friends

Yesterday while I was leaving one of my lessons, an old woman shoveled a pile of snow onto me and then yelled at me for being in her way. Did I get angry? Did I think she was being illogical? Did I wonder why somebody was making an old woman shovel snow? Nope! My only thought about this was "oh, good, it's clean." Which made me think that perhaps I had been in Russia too long.

But, on the other hand, I actually understood a news report on the radio today.

I also had four glasses of wine at a work party yesterday after basically not drinking for 14 months. I never gave up drinking completely, to be fair, but I placed so many restrictions that it was like I had given it up completely. To then turn around and, at one party (and a work party at that!), double my intake of alcohol for the year is worrisome, to say the least. So, I won't be doing that again.

At the same party, we had a love letter writing competition for Valentine's day. Basically, there was a list of 29 words and a time limit to write a letter or poem using as many as possible. I only got 16, so I didn't win, but I did learn that my style of writing is inappropriately formal for love letters. Also, it was written to a guy named Mark, which is the name of my husband in Sims 2, but I didn't want to tell anybody that, so I told them it was nobody (which is technically true), which probably made me sound evasive and mysterious.

Also, we had a competition to see who got the most valentines. I got six, two of which were from myself. The winner got 13.

On Wednesday I started teaching a new class, so they got to (okay, had to) ask me questions about myself. I am not that interesting, but I did figure out that I've been to 10 different countries (counting England and Scotland separately, but not counting Vatican City). Not bad. That means I should make it to about 32 in my lifetime, assuming that I have an average life expectancy, the world doesn't get destroyed, and it's still possible to travel long distances comfortably.

Just don't know

You know you've spent too much time on Wikipedia when you see a typo on another page and immediately look for the 'Edit' button.

I went cross-country skiing today. I'm not very good at it. Also, the one day this week that I chose to do an outdoor thing was the one day that the sun chose to come out, reflect off the snow, and proceed to burn my face off in the middle of Russian winter. I don't know that I'd mind it so much, except that everybody feels that its acceptable to comment on such things, and it's really not. But the skiing itself was actually a lot of fun.

The rest of my life is not awesome. Work is stressful and my boyfriend, for some reason, picks arguments with me about the war on Iraq, which I never supported, and the Vietnam war, which I wasn't alive during. The funny thing is, we disagree on enough political issues to supply us with a lifetime of disputes. So there's no reason to pick fights about the issues we agree on.

Our office is having a competition to see who can get the most valentines. I wrote one to myself, and one to my coworker's shirt because it's a really nice shirt.

But everybody knows that she throws herself in front of a train!

Having a blog means I get to do the Friday Five again. I did two because I wanted to, so this week's is more like a Friday Ten.

This is the current one:

1. When you were a student, would you have been more likely to turn your test in first or last?

First.

2. Question 1 on a test can be narrowed down to either A or B (you’re sure it’s one or the other). Question 12 on the test can be narrowed down to the same two answers. You know one is A and the other is B. Do you go for the all-or-nothing guess (choosing A for one and B for the other) or do you play it safe and take one correct (choosing A for both questions)?

All-or-nothing. But I don't cheat on tests, so why would I even know?

3. Are you more of a multiple-choicer, a true-falser, a fill-in-the-blanker, or a free-responder?

I was a good test-taker in general, but multiple-choice is easiest for me.

4. What are your thoughts on standardized college aptitude tests such as the SAT?

The SAT got me into the college of my choice, so I like it. It's also an accurate predictor of college success. Right now I'm more interested in standardized English tests because I have to teach students to pass them. I don't like most of them, but they're important. They keep weaker students from spending time and money on programs of study that they simply won't be able to handle, no matter how good they are at conversational English or untimed readings. I don't like immigration tests at all, though.

5. In the past week, in what ways have you been tested?

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. What an appropriate question for this week. My tolerance for cold weather has been tested (passed). My ability to walk on icy streets has been tested (failed). My patience with coworkers has been tested (barely passed). My ability to deal with students who are lazy, annoying, and vaguely creepy has been tested (passed so far). My professionalism in the face of serious problems at work that might leave me out of a job has been tested (we'll see). My tolerance for pain was tested when my stomach tried to digest itself (passed due to oatmeal). And, uh, my memory for Simpsons trivia was tested last Friday (at least I passed this one with flying colors).


This one occurred at the end of 2006, which makes sense. Question 1 will spoil the ending of AI for you, so you've been warned.

1. What film did you think had the most annoying, maddening, preposterous, disappointing, or idiotic ending?

AI. I will complain about this every chance I get (which is why I chose this one from the old Friday Fives). The first part of the film was brilliant. There were two points at which I thought it could have ended and still been brilliant. The first was when he jumped into the water (having established earlier that he is not waterproof). The second was when he was under the sea wishing to be a real boy.

There are a lot of movies whose endings I object to (off the top of my head: Sleepless in Seattle, Roman Holiday, Pretty Woman, North by Northwest, Contact). I even disliked the way "Friends" ended because I wanted them to move to France so that Emma could be bilingual. But AI is orders of magnitude worse because it could have been so, so good.


2. What is the most recent example in your life of something coming to an unexpected (or unwelcome) end and then turning into an even better beginning?

Hmm...nothing yet. Perhaps I'll be able to say this about the King's Quest series when the fan-made "sequel" comes out. I have really high expectations for that.

3. How do you feel about your rear end? (alternate question for those who think this is just far too inappropriate: How do you usually spend your sitting-around-on-your-rear-end days?)

Once I went shopping for jeans and one woman selling jeans shouted that it would be impossible to find jeans that would fit me. Despite this, I am quite attached to it. It's famine-resistant and keeps me comfortable on long train rides.

4. Some people read the endings of books before they invest time, energy, and emotion into the rest of them. What are your thoughts about this practice?

I think it's completely insane. In fact, it seems so wrong to me that I can't even explain why it's wrong because in order to do that I'd have to understand the arguments in favor, and I can't even begin to.

5. How would you like to end each day, and how do you actually end each day?

I'd like to end each day in my castle in Sweden after finding some priceless artifact or on one of my trains through the ocean on my way to somewhere interesting, or back to said castle after visiting somewhere interesting. Either way, I'd be curled up under a fluffy down comforter with a good book and hot chocolate (and I wouldn't have to get up again because I'd have self-cleaning teeth). Actually, I end each day by going home from work, wasting time on the internet, and attempting to sleep. Which I should do now.

I had an onion on my belt

Back when I was in college and living with two other girls, I lived in an apartment with a cable modem that broke constantly, and the company was constantly sending someone to fix it. Soon, the three of us discovered that cable guys always try to pick up college students. I assume it must work occasionally, because, aside from what must start to seem like constant rejection, you can also report them.

Anyway, I remember one particular cable guy because, when I told him I had a boyfriend, he asked, "is he black?" (I think I need to point out here that the cable guy was black, and my boyfriend was not, and neither was I). I thought it was a weird question because it was so specific. Looking back, I don't know why it was significantly weirder than having a strange guy in your apartment trying to pick you up, or said strange guy asking about your boyfriend's race, or, you know, the entire situation. But, the point is, the guy continued asking me out until the cable was fixed, and I've always assumed there was some odd political thing going on with that question. Perhaps he thought that it was unacceptable to hit on some other guy's girlfriend if you're both the same race, but it's okay if you're not. It's possible that he was just collecting data because he found it interesting. For the purposes of the comparison I'm about to make, though, we have to assume it was the former.

Now I'm in Russia and my boyfriend is Russian, and people ask me, "he is Russian?" all the time, and it has never struck me as a weird question. What does strike me as weird is that, without fail, they then try to pick me up even more. Really. Even if they didn't seem at all interested in me before they asked. Even if I lie and tell them we're married (hey, the word for husband is easier to pronounce than the word for boyfriend). So I've concluded that there is no odd political thing among Russian guys, at least not the ones who are in Russia, which is fair enough.

But I'm starting to wonder if Russian males have bought into their own stereotypes. They are generally very negatively stereotyped, especially when it comes to relationships. They're all supposed to be sexist alcoholics or something. In any case, the stereotypes are unfair, but a lot of foreigners believe them anyway (and then I get to hear about it). Maybe Russians do, too. Then they think, "hmm...this girl's boyfriend is Russian, so he must be a sexist alcoholic. I'm not a sexist alcoholic, of course, so she'll definitely go out with me!" Or, sometimes, "hmm...this girl's boyfriend is Russian, so he must be a sexist alcoholic. That must mean I'm her type!"

Supporting my theory is the fact that my boyfriend, who hates that the company hired so many foreign male teachers this year, was not bothered at all when I told him I thought one of my students liked me. To him, some foreigners who are not at all interested in me and are my employees anyway are a bigger threat to our relationship than a Russian who actually does seem to like me. I should point out that I'm not interested in any of these people, so that's not a factor. I think he's just assuming that the student in question is a sexist alcoholic, whereas foreign males in Russia are all equality-minded teetotallers.