Now I try to be amused

A few months ago, I decided that I'd wear flats more often. I travel around the city a lot for work, and I like to walk a lot, and wearing heels every day is not comfortable anymore. So I alternate, and when I go to a shoe store I head straight for the flats section because I am good and practical now. I am not, however, very interesting, as my four spring shoe purchases will show:

(Front to back: pointed-toe flat with buckle, pointed-toe flat with buckle, pointed-toe low-heel with buckle, reward for being so practical, also with buckle).

It wasn't until I saw them all together that I noticed that. In total, it makes 12 buckles on 4 pairs of shoes. Anyway, I offer this not to brag about how many shoes I have, or to get advice on where to find pointed-toe flats that don't have buckles, or to join the number of shoeblogs out there, or even because it helped me out, title-wise, but because it's the only explanation I have for the question that sets off the mother of all horrifying student conversations:

Me: [Saying something to the effect of America actually has a unique culture despite not being a very old country].
Student: Are all Americans Puritans like you?
M: I am not a Protestant.
S: [thinking]
M: But do you know what Calvinism is? It has a huge influence on American culture.
S: No, I want to ask: do all Americans believe in no sex outside family?
M: Oh my goodness, no!! That's just something we say about groups of people we don't--[at this point I get what he's asking and start laughing].
S: [Has the nerve to look annoyed by my lack of professionalism].
M: [Laughs some more because student has the nerve to look annoyed by my lack of professionalism]. You have *got* to rephrase that.
S: Yes, I can see that.

What makes it funny is how serious he was. Like it was a grammar question or something.

(And, according to this survey, the answer is 32%).