Tomorrow I start teaching. Today I am visiting the hospital, doing some work for Moscow, planning my lessons for the week, doing laundry, and, apparently, updating my blog.
I had to write a profile for our company's website. This is apparently the best I could do. And the little flourishes that make me sound like I have a personality (specifically, "hi," "green city," "friendly," and "look forward to") were edited in by one of the bosses.
One of the school officials uses the term "personality teacher" to describe the teachers who depend more on their charisma than on their teaching skills to keep students. It's not that personality teachers are necessarily bad teachers (often they're excellent), but that their students wouldn't care if they were bad. Because it's about the person, not about the teaching. On the one hand, personality teachers are a scheduling nightmare because their students often refuse to have lessons with any other teacher. On the other hand, you can send them to almost any group and be sure that the students will be happy with them.
Needless to say, I am not a personality teacher. In fact, I am a lack-of-personality teacher. Students ask me to talk about myself and I tell them that my English doesn't need practice, or that I'll discuss my personal life when Cambridge adds a section about it to their tests (they totally should). They know that I love conditionals. They suspect that I'm a workaholic. They probably know that I went to Siberia this summer because I couldn't shut up about it. But, beyond that, there's nothing interesting. Certain students love this because it makes them feel like they're learning, but for the most part I lack the appeal of a personality teacher.
This used to bother me a lot because I wanted to be popular. In my second year, I gave up on wanting to be liked so much, and I'm a better teacher for that. In my third year, I got promoted, and that's when I got into a stupid habit: I started throwing my title around. Not too much, but enough that people would know that I had responsibilities beyond being a regular teacher. This was intended to make me sound more impressive.
If you know anything about Russia, you know that it worked. As a matter of fact, it worked too well, and now I suspect that my English lessons have become something of a status item in certain sectors. As in, "No ordinary teacher can teach me! I must work with your assistant director of studies!"
It's not that I'm not a good teacher. It's just that I don't think that this is the result of a sudden interest in conditionals, which is unfortunate. (Nor is it due to any sudden interest in me, which is good). What happened was that I tried to impress students with my title, and now students are trying to impress other people with my title. The result is that now I get sent to important clients, some of whom don't take their lessons very seriously at all, giving me more stress but fewer papers to mark.
And while we're on the subject of status items: After reading the last post, you might wonder why I was on the Hermes website. It's because my super awesome, irreplaceable purse is going to fall apart in a month or two and one of the Hermes bags is the only bag I have seen that even comes close to what I want.* It turns out that said purse not only costs $6000 or more, but is not even sold on their website for fear that people like me will buy it, so it's back to the drawing board for me. Or to the crocodile farm and a sewing machine store.
Hermes always reminds me of one time when I was teaching a lesson about shopping (the textbook made me do it. Really!)
student: I only like shopping for ties. I have 30 ties.
me: Wow.
student: Do you know shop "Gurmiz"?** It is the only place I buy ties.
me [assuming this is some local Russian shop]: No. I don't buy many ties.
student: You must know. Gurmiz. It is French.
me: No, sorry. I just don't know.
Frustrated, student writes down the name of the shop, which is Hermes. I then pronounce it correctly and place it at the very top right corner of the price/quality chart*** I had drawn, all the while realizing that this student's collection of ties (which, unlike, say, shoes, are completely unnecessary) is worth more than I make in a year. Russians really like their status symbols.
* Big enough to carry a book, smaller than me, secure, trapezoidal, with long handles and/or a shoulder strap and feet. Also, no ugly hardware. Why is that too much to ask?!?
** The story makes more sense if you know (as I did) that "h" in other languages is often transliterated to "g" in Russian, even, apparently, when the "h" isn't pronounced.
*** This is a way of presenting vocabulary like cheap, bargain, good/bad value, ripoff, etc. The horizontal axis represents quality, and the vertical represents price, since price is at least a little bit dependent on quality.
If I weren't who's to say
14 years ago
6 comments:
It's a good thing there's no Costco in Russia. Your entire price/quality graph would have been thrown off.
Anyway, Marin the Blogger, I'd like you to meet Marin my daughter. I know that you have the right to ignore all that I say because I'm blinded by love, but come on! You have quite a personality. It may not be the one you wish you had, but it is definitely a strong one, that I personally wouldn't change. Anyone who knows you can quickly list your interests and talk about the type of person you are. Oddly, one of the thing I would list about you (in addition to loves shoes, loves clothes, politically aware, almost expert in Russian literature) is that you see yourself as not having a personality. You have told me enough stories about your classes that I know that you are not painting an accurate picture of yourself. I do believe that titles mean something. I have seen that with some of the cultures at my school, too. However, I suspect that you have a reputation that is also based upon your teaching skills. You have told me as much. And it means a lot to you that your students pass their tests that you're preparing them for. I think what you actually are is the mirror image of the personality teacher who happens to be a good teacher. I think you are the good teacher who happens to be a personality teacher. And, by the way, a lot of good, reflective teachers that I know (I include myself here) figured out around their third year that they weren't going to care if their students like them anymore. And everyone who has ever done that has noticed with surprise that their students like them even better. it's a strange but true (and apparently) international phenomena.
But, that being said, I laughed out loud at your description of what flourishes were added in. You just don't do friendly, do you?
Thank you for wanting a $6000 purse, as opposed to a $60 purse and for wanting a three figure hippo lock as opposed to a one figure hippo lock. Otherwise, some of the people who love you might see these as hints instead of just plain craziness.
So what do you want for your birthday?
Good luck on your first teaching day of this academic year.
And I wish a speedy recovery to Dmitry.
Actually, what I really want is to go back to Turkey. Yes, I know I'm making this difficult. Can you find a $60 bag that matches my specifications? I'd pay three times that if such a bag existed.
Anyway, I wasn't saying that I don't have a personality (it would be kind of ironic to say that on my own blog). It simply does not come through at work at all.
Again, I'm not saying I'm not a good teacher, but I am quite strict, and a lot of these requests are coming from lazy students who, if they didn't care about titles, would prefer somebody more lenient. And the fact that it all comes from the same group of companies. The students at another group of companies, where I started teaching after I stopped throwing my title around, were happy with my lessons but don't request teachers.
And I am friendly! ...by Russian standards.
Ditto what your mom says.
I did a handbag search and I see your point. Zappos has one that you might like called the Fossil Executive bag. It might be too big, but it has all of your other requirements. Check it out.
In friendly America, they always have a photograph with job profiles like that!
Do you want me to explain to your mother about not having a personality? Because I don't have one either, and that's a work thing. We all know I'm Mr. Excitement elsewhere. But I know I've had jobs where I just come across as a blank. That's partly because I don't bother to be interesting -- most of the things that interest me would make me too weird in the workplace.
Also, I have your ideal purse! In fact, I went to a baseball game with a friend and he said, "I see you brought your purse" and I indignantly pointed out that it was a man-purse. But it meets all your requirements, plus it can function well as carry-on luggage on a plane. I got it for free from AAA Volunteers. The lining in the front pocket tore loose, but that really just gives me another pocket. I'm not saying it's stylish enough for you, of course. Living up to those Day of the Dead shoes is a big responsibility.
The 30 neckties reminded me of my many lunch hours spent in Filene's Basement, buying expensive brand-name ties for a fraction of the cost. Maybe this capitalism thing can work after all! Of course, most of them are very out-of-date by now, and at most jobs around here it would be weird to wear neckties, just as if I were to show up in a cape.
I am SO wearing a cape this autumn! I need to find one, of course.
I think there will be a picture. I also think that, if the man-purse can function as carry-on luggage, it is too big.
Actually, the Fossil Executive bag (the side-zip one) looks like what I want. They sell a red one on the Fossil website, which would fit my conservative-but-loud aesthetic. The closest stores are in Germany or Austria, so I guess I'll be using some vacation time.
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